February 7, 2016: Back In the Saddle Again

Life has taken a turn for the better and I received word that my disability claim was accepted after almost 2 years.  I feel so free, it is kind of amazing.  I have felt so well I have gone out and taken pictures this week and worked on my book and worked on my project and written a few poems.  Oh what a little bit of good news and security will do for one.

 I tried out a space to photograph in today.  These are two of the pictures I took.  There maybe too much light in the space, although I am drawn to it for it is a lot like my childhood home. The shadows are interesting, but I think I want angles in the back ground.  I'm not sure. 

 I also read all 7000 words of Claudia Corrigan D'Arcy's blog yesterday and am wowed by how articulate she is about such an extremely complex situation.  Thank you, Claudia for writing your mind and heart.  It was inspirational for me.  It helped me write more and I am excited to pick up the pen again.

 It was Winter Carnival this weekend and I love the ice sculptures.  I didn't get a lot of good pictures of them though.  By the time I got out with my camera the sun had already been pouring down on them for a while.  Still, it was awfully pretty to look at.

So I feel back in the saddle and will begin to put together my book proposal.  I did finish the book I was told to read and I have contacted the women whose stories I want to use for the proposal.  So wish me luck and here it goes again.

Oh, by the way, my back is much better.  Thank you, Robin and the Y and Karen.  I know you are and will continue to be the reason I am able to do any of this.   HUGS

An Update; An Intention Declared

 January 27, 2016

I realize it has been a while since I brought people up to date with the doing of the book.  The past month has not been a writer's month.  The week of Christmas I hurt my back, slipped a disc in my lower back and am just now beginning to feel like it will get better.  Pain and the inability to move around makes writing almost impossible.  And I think I just haven't known what to do next.  I haven't been taking too many photographs either.  There is a lot of things going on in my physical world and it has kept me from my actual work.

Yesterday Emma and I went out to the Bookmill and it helped me to begin to organize a work plan.  Today I wanted to begin to institute that plan.  Having the blog to do daily made me write and attend to the work, that was the intention and I need something similiar to keep me on track.  So I am going to start a new project.

I am going to photograph women of all ages.  I'll let you know as I develop it. 

Meanwhile, I am going to refine 2 stories and my own to send to Seal Press by the end of February.  That is my claimed intention.  

Don't give up on me.  This book will be a reality soon.  

Jan. 3, 2016; Looking Back

I have spent the day reviewing photographs of 2015.   I spent the day not only deciding which photographs were the best, but which ones represent my favorite moments of the year.  The mom was so happy and pleased with herself when Emma and I went to meet her new babies when they were first born.

Just a small trip down a little bit of the year.  

I still haven't decided  how I will continue this blog.  Once I've organized my line of action for both the blog and the book I will let people know.  Meanwhile, I will periodically show pictures of highlights of 2015.

Day #365: Final Day of 365 Project

 # 365

 12/31/2010

The Chicken Whisperer 12/31/2010

Our last day of this 365 Day Project. I thought about writing about the highlights of the year.  For me the highlight was my 10 days in Rhode Island writing.  Another big highlight was the Greenfield Center School 8th Grade plays last May.  They were so awesome.  I was so blown away by them.  Another great day for me was celebrating Pete Seeger's life and honoring Juanita Nelson with the large community through singing and marching and feeling the strength of all being together.  

I  asked Emma what her highlight was and she pointed to the sky and said, "there."  I agree, the moments, many many many of them were awesome highlights.  I shot a lot of sunsets this year that took my breath away.  We also sang in 2 concerts this year, they were wonderful.

I also interviewed 18 women this year who were remarkable human beings.  The acquisition of knowledge about adoption has challenged me, stretched me, made me grow, I am a different person.

And for me another highlight is that these two girls are both such an important part of my life.  Both of them have been since their births and I hope they are til my death.  

There were so many samenesses between 2010 and 2015, predominately so many of the same loving wonderful people that make up my rich, rich life.

2015 will go down as a learning year, a challenging year, but a full year.  I am sad to see all of this go, but I am glad to start something new, too.  I'm not sure what that is going to look like, but I will pop up now and again.  Meanwhile, Happy New Year and please be safe.

And a final poem from Emma

 Speculation

The new year crashes in like waves on the coast of California. The cold chills us and gives shape to our breaths. The snow reflects the moon and our memories from the year before, and the wind gently pushes expectations and speculations for the times to come. The gray clouds from yesterday have moved on and faded into the fog of tomorrow. The time at hand bites at our skin and urges us  forward into the New Year.

~ Emma Worth

Day # 364: 2nd to last day

# 364

This is what I wanted last night for a Rumi quote.  It was on my wall when I got up this morning; perfect timing.

Do you remember what the purpose of doing this blog was back on January 1st?  It was to do a 365  Day photo project and keep my eye on beauty.  I documented the year with the idea of beauty in the forefront.  All over social media today there were blurbs about intentionally finding beauty each day of ones' life and the healthy impact it has on ones' bodies.  Everyday this year I have focused on beauty for at least 15 minutes and I have documented as much of it as I could.  That has been a successful goal.

Now the reason for doing this was to balance my life while I dug into researching Original Mother grief, grief in general and the largeer impact of adoption.  I knew from the beginning that it was going to be a painful journey and I wanted to intentionally do something to be balanced.  I wanted to be done with the text of the book by tomorrow.  I won't reach that goal.  Sustaining writing has been so much more physically demanding than I would have ever imagined.  But don't worry, it will be done.
I love the book today more than I loved it a year ago.  I have only met 3 of the women I interviewed, but I feel as though I have 15 more friends.   And the others, the professionals, the adoptees, the original fathers, they have all enriched my life.  I will keep on it, it will get finished.

Day # 363: Sleep With Rumi

 

#363

12/29/2010

This evening I have thrown away at least 300 photos from the year. I went through the month of March. I need to throw out more, but it is a good start. I also threw out over a garbage bag full of paper today. I'm beginning to be able to thin out in here, to simplify, to start a new, or at least fresh. I'm excited.

These were a photo and part of my entry from 12/29/2010.  It makes me laugh.  I'm still trying to thin everything out and for some reason it just gets thicker and thicker.  I threw out another 300 photos today and I am designing a filing system for my photo life.  Not having a lot of luck, but trying.

Last night was the first snowstorm of the season.  We didn't get hit hard at all. Lots of ice now, though.  Oh well, it wasn't until January last year that we got hit so hard.

A special colleague of mine gave me the Essential Rumi following three friends' deaths in 2005.  As I roll up this project I am pulling Rumi back out.  I thought maybe I could share a piece tonight, but I need more time to sleep with him.

 Today's pictures don't look like first snow beauty.  I gave up Diet Coke for Emma's Christmas present and I am suffering from some detox symptoms; these photos are much more representative of my frame of mind. 

Day # 362: Happy 44th Paul and Molly

 # 362

Here is an article written by my friend, Christine Dutton about the need for BALANCE in our health journies.





 5-practices-for-nurturing-happiness




Birds have had a dominant role in my life this week and for some reason I haven't been writing about them.  It is so unlike me, but I guess I have not really known what to write about my experiences.  Today I came around a corner on a dirt road and a pick up truck was zooming by, but putting on his breaks quickly.  I realized that just over the edge of the road were about 30 turkeys.  I stopped and got out of the car with my camera.  As usual I couldn't do them justice, but it was fun any way. I left them, went up the road a bit and turned around.

 Just as I was coming by them again, I realized they were all beginning to flock away, They began to do their imitation of flying up out of the spot and above the road, taking them up a straight ledge on the other side of the road. They were definitely intentionally moving out of this site. 

 When I got around the corner there were eight men in camouflage with hunting rifles beginning to leave their cars and move up the road together.  They were menacing looking and I believe they were waiting for me to get out of the way, but by the time I did the birds were on the run.