June 23, 2014

My parents were married 67 years ago today.  Neither of them are alive to celebrate it on this plane, but I am sure they're smiling about it.  My dad died before they reached their 25th, my Mom died in 2010 a well loved and single woman.  Her story is really interesting and needs to be told and some day I hope I can write it and do it justice. 

Last week I had several of my family come to visit, three generations and an assortment of uncles, brothers, sisters, cousins, grandparents.... fascinating how we are all linked together by blood, still representing at least four continents and several different lifestyles.  We came together and played and ate and laughed and remembered Mom, our matriarch, even Zoe who is now 7 said she missed Great Grandma Jean. 

It is these times that I think of my own daughter and wonder how she would fit into this mismatch bunch, a bunch of whacky wonderful people with great talent who just seem to get smarter, better looking and more artistic with each generation.

photo by Zoe

 

These three are all my Mother's great grandchildren.  She has a bunch more, but these are the three that visited this week.  All three of them are sweet and fun and I had a really good time hanging out with them.   And for the first time in my 61 years I was jealous of my siblings, because they are grandparents; what a wonderful role to play.  They are all so in love with each other, you can feel that amazing strength of family love.  And yes, I received a lot of it, too.  I get so much from my nieces and nephews and the new generation seems willing to love me, too, but they are not mine. 

 

I have decided to break the budget up into three parts for my book project.  I am going to do a new on-line fundraiser, a local fundraiser, and I am going to look into grants.   I truly believe this book is important to write and that it is doable.  I am really open to suggestions, so if you know of a source, please let me know.   I want to continue on and be able to publish the untold stories.  

 

So keep your eyes open for this blog, I am going to maintain it.  I will continue to write and share my photos in it.  I will keep you up to date about the book and about my bird learning.  Join my blog, post your blog site, please pass things on.  This will continue to build my network of support for The Strength to Speak about the Courage to say Good-bye.

 

all photos by Lindy unless otherwise marked.

copyright Lindy Whiton

 

 







Day 37

Ok, the bird count for today is small, but it is inspired.  Great Blue Heron, and a tanager, then the usual redwing blackbird, robin, crow and mallards.   The day was not too hot and not too rainy and gentle on the eyes and great for the lens.  Thank you.

But it was not terrific for the Kickstarter project, although again, interesting who did connect and I am so grateful for those few.  I'm going to watch Maya Angelou's memorial service speeches tonight to get inspiration for creating a plan B.   I believe I will do two women's stories this June and repost the Kickstarter in 2 weeks with 2 examples done.  They will have to be women who are close, but I've received so many responses from original mothers that I think I can do that. 

Meanwhile,
<iframe width="480" height="360" src="https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/130449645/creating-strength-to-speak-a-book-about-adoption-a/widget/video.html" frameborder="0" scrolling="no"> </iframe>

A word about the image: it was drawn by Emma Worth, my goddaughter.  It is a celtic symbol for motherhood and the orange tree is symbolic for healing; thus, healing motherhood.  I think she did a wonderful job.  I made bookmarks out of it, too.  You can have a copy for a 10 dollar donation to the project.  Only 72 hours left.

Message about restoring original birth certificates to adult adoptees.

Subject: An Executive Order to restore Original Birth Certificates to ADULT ADOPTEES by enacting the ADOPTEES RESTORATION ACT
Hi,
For almost an entire century, Adopted Adults have been denied access to their medical history, their culture, their genealogy and ancestry and the answer to the age-old question - "Who Am I"  -- this not only affects them, but it also affects their children and their children's children.  
That's why I signed a petition to President Barack Obama, which says:
"For the President to enact an Executive Order which would restore the Original Birth Certificate to every ADULT ADOPTEE in America in one fell swoop because it is a civil and constitutional right! "
Will you sign this petition? Click here:
http://petitions.moveon.org/sign/an-executive-order-to-1?source=s.icn.em.cp&r_by=10628279
Thanks!

Day 36

Only 4 more days.
The May flies are out in droves, don't they know it is June?  My backyard haven has been occupied by little black bitey gnats.  Right at the moment a giant black cloud is blocking a beautiful bright sun.  But it is moving quickly.  I know this is all a metaphor for my larger life.  Sumac is taking over this field and I haven't had it mowed, yet.  So  much of it is about priorities, but I have to say, this space is a priority for me, for it is my chapel.

At the moment I cannot see any birds but I hear at least six different songs? Cardinal, robin and a nearby sparrow, swallows just flew over head and they are noise, and a call I haven't learned to recognize.  Blow away cloud.  I want a few more moments to write.

I am loosing faith that my Kickstarter project will reach its goal.  I am beginning to think about other options for funding the project, for it has just become larger and stronger than ever.

I keep saying this project is about healing and I am sure of that.  The number of people who have touched my heart in the past 35 days is incredible.  I don't want to drop the dialogues and I don't want to stop witnessing peoples' stories.  I'm supposed to witness them.  I want to continue the dialogues.  I want to create this book.  Many have asked to tell me their story, many have written part of their story, and I have learned an enormous amount.  So I will continue to keep this blog after Friday and I hope a plan b and a plan c will get created so that the project can be done.  If you have ideas, let me know.

 

I took this photo at the Haiku Circle's day long event yesterday.  There is something very special about bringing people together into the circle of their people.  This group was a community of poets.  They came together at this lovely home by a pond and cooked a giant soup in a caldron and ate fruit and bread.  I was caressed by being there.  I would like to do a similar event for those people who work so hard in the field of adoption.   Once I am far enough along with my book I will bring two groups together separately and jointly: the group of original moms, and the group of hard working activists.  We will have a day of nurturing activities.  You wait and see.  It'll be great.

 

Meanwhile, 3 more days on Kickstarter.com

 

<iframe width="480" height="360" src="https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/130449645/creating-strength-to-speak-a-book-about-adoption-a/widget/video.html" frameborder="0" scrolling="no"> </iframe>

please give if you can.  Please share one last time.  It's a big goal, but... two or three larger donors and 100 small ones would do it. 

Thanks for your efforts thus far.

 

 

Day 32

by Lindy

 

I have started to photograph birds this spring.  I don’t really have the equipment to do it justice; I need a lens that zooms a little further and a little faster, but I have had fun trying.

It started with my trip to Robert and Cynthia’s grave site the other day.  Vince and I were looking for big birds but instead a bluebird perched on a gravestone right in front of us, declaring beauty is precise.  It is contained in this small, compact, perfect body that sings and flies.  We also saw a yellow-bellied flycatcher that was acrobatic and keeping us occupied while other birds and turtles laid eggs, ate little eggs and occupied the small wetland.

The next big shoot was in my backyard, the cedar waxwings had left and not a lot of grackles or crows seemed to be around.  I haven’t seen the blue jays in a couple of weeks; however a cardinal and his wife have taken over.  Chickadee and sparrow family have found places to put their nests.  Goldfinch are nearby, bats fly over at dusk.  And today when I came out of the house four ruby throated hummingbirds were enjoying the quince.  I felt like I’d entered a miracle.

Why am I so interested in birds this summer?  I am not sure.  I mean I always have been but for some reason I’m driven to memorize their names and detect their calls.  Is it because paying attention to their behavior and their beauty is a meditative practice that allows me to release the heaviness of the attention to original mother stories?

Since I launched my Kickstarter.com project I have made really interesting contacts.  Women who need to tell their story have connected with me.  I have been so pleased to have those connections; I have also had women angry at me for using the label birth mother.  I have heard   anger from adoptees and moms about adoption in general and the awful acts that are done under the umbrella of doing "good.” I am being educated, indoctrinated into a movement that is complex and heavy.  I have been moved to tears every day since I began this journey.  I am thrilled by it.

I wish I could hear Desmond Tutu speak again.  I went and heard him in a church basement in Cambridge with Loren several years ago.  He was so freeing, he was calm and at peace and his gentle humor was so direct, precise.  I left that room knowing I had just been given an amazing gift  I had been in the presence of someone who was grace; he was at peace with all that he had seen and lived through.

That’s what I want for me.  I want the sense of peace, that gentle humor and calming connectedness.

And believe it or not, I think photographing birds helps me to find that state.  It is the act of completely focusing on something that is entirely free of tension, like practicing an instrument or singing in a chorus.  It is embracing something outside of one’s self.

I can take on this project riddled with sorrow and anger and I think it helps me and I can be of help to others.  But I need that mental balance.  I need to have a spiritual release and birds maybe my answer.  That could have been the message brought to me by the bluebird, lovely and precise.

 

 

 

Please go to Kickstarter.com and click on Explore.  Type in Greenfield, Ma. and you will see my project with Emma's beautiful Healing Motherhood symbol on it.  Give what you can.  It will be most appreciated.  

Day 30

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 It has been a great day today.   Vermont View Magazine published my op ed.

 

http://www.vermontviews.org/vermontviews.org/Op_Ed.html

 

 

 

Also, people love Gerard's photos of me.  If only people knew what a turn around it was for me to do a two and a half hour shoot.  It is usually me who is taking the pictures.  Anyway, he did such a great job.  I'm so thankful. 

 

The other link I just posted is for CUB (Concerned United Birthparents)  They are having a special until Father's Day on the membership fee.  It is really worth it.  They immediately connected me to an even wider world of adoption. 

 

https://www.facebook.com/adoptionbookslist?fref=nf 

This is a facebook page which focuses on books on adoption.  There have been some fascinating books on their list this week.  Anybody looking to buy me a present can get me Carol Schaefer's new book, Searching.  I really want to read it. 

 

Time is running out.  Please, if you meant to back my project and just haven't done it yet, will you do it tonight?  10 days left.   I hope that people who read the section of my story in the paper will be moved to donate.  Anyway, if you can't donate, share it anyway.  The more eyes on it the better. 

 

Thanks so much everyone!!!!