#95
Dreaming of Bob Stowe on Easter
There must be a dozen movies where there is an invisible best friend helping the protagonist through some journey. He sits on window sills or trees and just makes comments to the poor struggling human. Last night I had a dream that Bob Stowe was my spirit in the background helping me to accomplish producing this mammoth play I had created. He was just in the background making comments, both sarcastic and helpful. I woke up laughing. The play was a huge success, but it took a lot out of everyone. Everyone was in it. I was trying to figure out why dream of Bob in such a role the night before Easter?
Bob was a minister; my guess is the last Easter he was alive he attended Ashfield Congregational Church. I know I did not go with him. I don't think I have attended an actual service on Easter in many years, but if I were going to do it with anyone it would have been with Bob, and I can see him accompanying me on a journey and hanging back and making wise cracks until he knew I seriously needed him. He was another big brother in my life. He was my very close friend's husband. Somehow it just felt right to wake up this morning from that dream. There is a spiritual context that corresponds with this week. I am collecting the data to write a play. I guess I'm producing a mammoth play?
4/5/2010
I did an interview today with a woman who felt like a member of the family. I felt like I had known her my whole life. Not only is she an original mother, and an educator and musician, but she was born and raised in California and spent most of her adult life in the Bay Area, not unlike my own mother. She relinquished in 1955. Abortion was truly a dangerous and scary idea. No one was talking about open adoption, but the one piece of control she did have was she could chose what religious beliefs the adoptive family had to have to be able to adopt her daughter. I was never given that choice, nor was I given any power in the placement process. The state gathered as much information on what was thought of as the genetic dominate make up of the baby and they tried to place her with a similiar family. I was told that her aMom painted and that they were well educated. That was to make me feel secure that my daughter would be understood.
The previous photo was my #95 in 2010. It is my Mother and several of my siblings in reflection. I think on this particular day we thought she had more than 4 months to live. Her body failed quickly in the last six months of her life.
Today I am grateful for
1) the ability to cook simple foods
2) being in my 60's, feeling freer but still able
3) the fact that my adult nephews and nieces still share with me
4) Cold water and lemon
5) Family who send food
confused Christmas Cactus
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