Day #161: Taking care of the Universe

#161 

How do I put into words what I am thinking?  About a year and a half ago my friend, Gregg, made a serious attempt to convince me that my project and my intentions were so right on for me that I should give into it and accept that the Universe would provide.  Part of me agrees and part of me is skeptical, yet I've chose to move forward as though I believe.

A month ago my computer blew up right in the middle of a true productive time.  It stopped the book dead and cut me off from my photos and my poetry manuscript edits and my original mothers.  I was like, "wait a minute." and I have wrestled internally with the concept of dropping everything and finding a new life.  Then two important things happened.

The first thing that happened is my old mentor from college came and read some of my stories and stated that I could not quit now.   That I have really interesting stories and data and that it is a piece of important work.  To have an academic, a very bright academic, proclaim this caught me up short.

The second thing that happened is a woman who is a friend of a friend and has always been friendly towards me, but not a close friend, came forward and gave me a present of a new computer.  I'm not sure how much proof I need to believe in the work, but I am so grateful to Weezie and am sure happy to have my new toy and a new friend.

But I feel I have a responsibility to all of this.  It's not just about the book, it's not just completing the book and being true to the women's voices; it is about taking care of myself while I do it, too.  In the past month I have not been as conscientious about self care, and i realize it really is a responsibility to others, too.

All my life I have said, "leave me alone, it is my body, my life, it is not yours."  But if you are going to believe the Universe will take care if your intent is positive and good, you have to be good to yourself as well, and take care of yourself for the Universe and others, too.

I know this may all sound like mumbo jumbo, but I really am thinking about it all.  If I am going to take from the world I have to be responsible to it and that means taking care of me in order to do the work.

Ok, so I am back up and running.  The blog is back up regularly and my 365 Day project is up-to-date.  It makes me very happy.

Thank you all who have been taking care of me through out this.  Thank you, thank you.

As of tonight I am back on tracks.

Love you!

#160

June 9, 2015

by Emma

#159