#57
I have spent the morning in Adoptionland. I've met interesting people this morning. It is true that creative and smart women make up a large portion of this world. During one phone call we discussed whether reopening my search for my daughter would be an important move to make. In these days of open adoptions and reunions on TV, it is usually the first question I am asked by someone who is not a part of the triad. Am I in reunion? I am not. I did find my daughter and I do know where she is, but after 18 years she still has not reached back out to me. It has been suggested that I call her. I am not sure if I am ready to do that. Certainly writing this book is opening up the possibility. I find it a little mind boggling
Today I had two women mention the fact that one needs to be well organized to be able to pull this book together. I have never thought of my organization skills as being highly developed. Anyone who knows me knows I depend on my memory way too much and that things like bills rarely get filed or organized in such a manner that someone else could step into my world. Yet, I am managing to do it with this book, and I am admitting to myself that I am old enough now that I may not depend entirely on my memory. So I am taking wonderful notes and am grateful for all of the secretary positions on committees that I have held over the years. All of those times taking notes and organizing information for other people to reference what was decided and discussed in all of those meetings I sat through in my 30 years of literacy work. Had to come to some good sometime.
Anyone think of a sweater story?
Something I'm learning in reunion with my son is that our reunion and my activism (if I may use so grandiose a term to describe what I do) are two different and separate things. For a long time I believed they were one and the same, but now I realize that reunion means something different to each of us, and while we can share our experiences with each other, our experiences with adoption are not the same. Our stories are complementary, not congruent.
ReplyDeleteMakes perfect sense to me. I'm not sure I know if my need to create this book and have the voices of original mothers' heard is activism. I have to think about that. And I truly thought it was an act for my life and would not be involved with my daughter. I still think that. But the act of thinking about it so much has brought new information to me in regards to reunion.
DeleteI think it is essential to keep those boundaries in place, and I appreciate your articulating them. I've heard other women say similar things since I started interviewing them. Very interesting.
Lindy