Day # 63:Happy Birthday Herb.

#63

This is Herb.  Herb has been my colleague and friend since 1990.  He and I have been connected at the hip in some fashion or other since then.  Today is his birthday.  He's known Emma since she was born.  Since she was old enough to crawl she would chose to play in his office.  She loved sneaking into his office and hiding under his desk and scaring him big time.  It was nice to be with Herb, Trace and Emma today and celebrate.  Really nice, I hope we celebrate another 25 together.  Hey, it's possible; his relatives all lived into their late 90s.  Love this man.

I'm glad so many people read Loren's piece yesterday.  Also, it looks like I fixed the comment problem and people were able to post comments.  Keep them coming. 

The book is coming at a fast pace at the moment.  I have talked to an original Mom everyday for the past week or so.  I have begun to write, too.  I may not make my deadline of Friday posting the indiegogo, but at least by Tuesday next week.  

One element that has been mentioned a lot by different people in my interviews is how others around the Mom are effected by the loss of the baby. I find it amazing how much energy went into trying not to feel about these births, especially before the 1990's; our societies understanding of loss, grief,and physiology was pretty limited.  Girls were asked to block out so much, to forget, which they tried desperately to do, but couldn't.  

Personally it has made me think about my nephew, Jason, who was 7 during my pregnancy.  He was the one who asked to touch the moving baby or asked the questions that younger siblings naturally ask.  He was the one who most likely formed fantasies about the baby, and because I took care of him a lot in those years, he had expectations based on a 7 year old's understanding of the situation.  So when I came home without the baby, he was confused.  We've talked about it often over the years, but never from his 7 year perspective.  It struck me as terribly sad yesterday.  I'm sorry Jace.  You would have been a good big brother then.