Day # 214: The Dizzying Reality

#214

Good morning world.  Gorgeous out here.  The cardinals and wrens have had their breakfasts.  The Mockingbirds and crows have already had their dispute.  There is a large patch of red seaweed out by the sandbar.  I've watched sailboats go out and swimmers pass by and the haze burn off.  I've seen the moon disappear from eyesight, all in an hour and a quarter.  And now at eight, it is time to get dressed and go write. 

Marsh Hawk is an old name for the Northern Harrier.  They eat small animals, such as baby bunnies, moles, amphibians and small birds.  Mockingbirds eat insects and fruit.  Clearly the Mockingbird must  be protecting her young.  This morning when I got up there were adolescent Mockingbirds on the yard.  They must all be hawk prey at this point, but the hawks have not woken up and joined the drama yet.  Grackles are flying through right now.  And the Mockingbird, who lives in the bush right outside the window, is flying back and forth over the deck.  I do hear a small bird call repeatedly, but I think it is a thrasher. 

This ad for this book was copied from Lorraine Dusky's website, address on ad.  The newest entry moved me to place this here.  If you've lost a child to adoption, read it.  It is worth the time.  She is a straight forward and good writer.

It must be a little dizzying for my readers this week to go from ornithology, to reminiscence, to statements about adoption, but you are getting a taste of what is happening in my brain.  Here I sit in this wonderful spot and I am comfortable to the tenth degree and fascinated by the world in front of me while I  listen to heart breaking stories and hear patterns of behavior, that like the birds out here, make sense.  Choosing adoption did make sense to the girl who was scared and alone and pregnant.  Really, in spite of the fact that it was so not what our hearts wanted us to do, it did make sense.  So I cry for all of us, for all of you who have had to endure, walk out of the hospital after spending nine months with something inside you growing that you had learned to love.  I cry.  And now I will go take pictures of the beauty in the world. 

What this week has shown me is that I must continue this balance, that the balance makes sense, but that it makes this project so terribly long.