Day #14: Two weeks

 

 

I spent a part of this day rereading my 2010 blog and I am surprised by how much is the same even though so much is different.  Back then I worked a job I loved but never felt supported in, my mother was dying, Emma was only 9 and reinventing worlds constantly, and I wrestled with ideas around balance and spirituality.  Now I believe I have gotten someplace with that struggle, and although I miss my students at times, I feel many more times valued, and Mom is gone and others went quickly after her, reforming the structure of my life.  (I woke up this morning and thought about calling her.  Our conversations are much shorter than they used to be.)  And come to think of it, Emma is still inventing new worlds to place us in; they’re just more sophisticated at this point.

I am going to show you some comparisons tonight; some similar and some quite different from each other, but all took place in the first 2 weeks of my blog in 2010 0r 2015.

 

Posted on Day 2010; drawing by Emma.

Emma drew this picture while her mother and I were reminiscing about college days, I don’t remember what we were talking about, Marlboro College memories are always fun to pull out of the hat.  But Emma felt compelled to illustrate what I looked like in 1976 or so….  Not bad.

 

Drawing of Lindy, January 2015, by Emma

See what I mean, a little more sophisticated.

 

Now January in New England is the same, I think there has been less snow this year than in 2010, but I’m not sure, I’d have to go back and count the days of sunshine.  But here is something near my car in my driveway on the same day five years apart: wintry.

 

1/4/15

 

1/4/2010

 

 

Road to the covered bridge was closed this day in January 2010, but on January 3, 2015 the new bridge was complete and open to traffic.  I have gone down there to take pictures 3 times already this month.

1/3/2015

And so it goes.  Today the 14^th day of this 365 Day project was grey and extremely cold with these little snow flakes.  Apparently, in 2010, it started out grey, so I photographed bright colored towels and such, but eventually became sunny and this picture was taken;

 

As for my spiritual life, clearly my desire to write this book in adoption land is coming from a spiritual place, a place that is healed enough to research the trauma and grief of adoption.  I spent part of my day rereading my own blog and part of my day reading other peoples’ posts and articles.  I am ready to begin to interview women.  I have a few set up for the next couple of weeks and am excited about the opportunity.  So, things change and things stay the same, but I am happier and healthier by far.  I miss my mother daily, and that has allowed me to miss my Dad daily.  I am more open.  And although I do not get paid for anything yet, I feel compensated for my work in millions of ways and am extremely grateful for my friends and family who have supported me through this period. 

Today marks 2 weeks; I am again proud of myself for keeping this commitment.  Here’s to the next 2 weeks and further growth.