Day #3: Riding In a Car

 Outside it is a wintry mess and I can hear the sleet on the roof.  I am happy to be right here in my own home, reading about the experiences women are dealing with daily regarding their history with adoption.  I have been doing some research and I have just filled out a survey from Mothers of Loss and am beginning to feel comfortable responding to some posts.  I really began this project with the idea of being a listener.  For the majority of my professional life I have listened, but I have also felt I had to fix things.  I have plowed through and created programs to help.  I don’t want to do that with this issue.  This issue is too close to my heart to try a fix;  I need to listen and gather information.  This week I plan on pulling together the transcripts of five stories.  January should be an extremely productive month.

Meanwhile, before the snow began, before my daily research began, Emma and I went for a ride through some of our favorite places to observe wildlife.  We saw none.  It was absolutely still out there.  It was grey and silent and we slowly drove through it.  

 

Today’s picture is a wetland in Warwick, Ma.  We have taken many pictures there of large birds, it is extremely rare that we don’t see a bird of prey.  But as you can see it was still.

I am still tonight.  I am silent in my own space.  There was a time when I would have seen this as the calm before the storm and become anxious, but tonight I acknowledge it as regeneration.  I am quiet and fortifying.